Fake Confidence?

So today I was chatting to my friend about confidence, (as I have low self esteem etc). when she came out with something like "I don't think you're actually shy, I think it's an act" I was stunned!
Whenever people say things like that I want to investigate, and so I questioned her, and she just came out telling me she thinks I'm confident about myself. I asked my other friend and she agreed. I was in Shock.

image taken from here  

So now I can't stop thinking about how I act around other people. All this time I have been worried about how others perceive me, thinking I look like weirdo, but actually all the times I had to appear confident has naturally paid of? I remember reading an article, and in a book - that if you act confident you'll appear and feel more confident. Maybe it is actually true?

image taken from HERE

Sometimes it's just a pair of killer heels to change the way you feel!

I'm still in total shock that a few of my friends think this of me, I mean I get anxiety going to Tesco's on my own. I was in a way quite insulted when she said it, it's difficult when someone doesn't know how you feel inside, I am confident in a lot of situations, but I also fear other situations highly!  And I am definitely not big headed about myself.
Sam from Pixiwoo recently uploaded a video on Anxiety. I don't know about you, but I was surprised she suffers from it, I mean she seems so confident herself.  Her video about her anxiety is HERE

I only wish I had the confidence to do things I want to do eg. go on a random trip by myself, that's the kind of thing you can't fake! Step by step I keep saying to myself lol

Love Laura x



39 comments

  1. I've had friends say things like this to me too. I'm really shy and awkward and have really low self esteem. I think that once your friends get to know you so well and you get comfortable around them that you do seem more confident and they get used to seeing you that way. My friends know that i'm awkward but they've said to me that I come off as being very confident, even though i'm fighting feeling anxious and have to push myself to do the smallest of things sometimes. It is amazing how people perceive you though and once something is said to you you start to watch the way you act! haha x

    Molly's Beauty Spot | A Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

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    1. OMG, that is exactly me! I admit I am mostly confident around my friends, of course as they're my friends. If they could observe me from a distance in a situation that I feel uncomfortable in, they would see how shy I can actually be. x

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  2. I'm the exact same as you - I can be confident in certain situations but there's others im totally out my comfort zone and get anxious, however not to the extent I'd say I suffer from anxiety because the majority of the time I could be fine on my own, but I have noticed myself putting on a front in some situations. I as well was so shocked to find out Sam suffers from anxiety - she appears super confident but it just goes to show you don't know what's going on behind someones confident smile! - Getting all deep now haha!

    Natalie xx
    www.nataliecatherine.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. exactly, it totally goes to show that you can't judge a book by it's cover! xxx

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  3. I'm also a very shy person. I think it's all about who you are with, like I can talk a lot around my friends and people I trust but when it comes to talking to somebody new or even a teacher I get extremely shy! I get anxiety when going to Tesco on my own too, I always ask my friend to go with me x

    daisy-drops

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    1. OMG, I thought it was just me about the Tesco thing! lol , Obv I can go there on my own, but I just get anxious xx

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  4. Confidence is such a weird issue - my best friend seems to think I have tons of confidence because I come across like that, when in reality I'm ridiculously anxious! It's a grower, I hope the older we get - the more confidence we gain in life. I mean just look at the old folk, they really don't give a crap! :)

    Lana, xo
    http://fashionfake.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. haha I'm probs going to look back at myself when I'm older and laugh! I think people do go past a point where they just don't care anymore xx

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  5. I'm the same. I wont repeat again what others have said but yeah.
    When I'm meeting new people they tell me i'm very confident but on the inside i'm crapping myself, I usually tremble quite a bit and panic a little. Not fun at all :/
    Ellie,xx
    Elephant stories and more

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    1. yep, maybe everyone is really nervous inside, just others hide it much easier x

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  6. A lot of bloggers have been talking about confidence issues recently - I think we all have them somewhere inside, but I also think we all deal with them differently. I used to be so painfully shy that I was terrified of talking to boys, rarely spoke in class... thought through every tiny thing I did in excruciating detail because I was scared of people thinking I was weird.

    However, in the last few years I've grown a lot more confident in myself - I think a lot of it's to do having found really great friends, and having been thrown into a situation (university) where I had to force myself to be more confident. But all the insecurities are still there, I just don't let them get to me as much. I still get taken aback if people think i'm confident, or even loud, because I was so used to being "the quiet one" in my group of friends in high school, I think I still see myself as such!

    I'm still not confident enough to take a trip by myself though - that's something I want to work on too!
    I'm sure we'll both get there, in time :)

    Much love!
    Helen at Hels Yeah! xx

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    1. I'm so happy to hear you've got a lot more confident in yourself :) thanks for your feedback :) xx

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  7. Great one
    Signs that your Lover is Drug Addicted
    http://healthblushon.com/telltale-signs-that-your-loved-one-is-drug-addict/

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  8. I am exactly the same as you, I get anxiety about the smallest thing. I think it's all in the mind and you just have to act confident even if you don't feel it inside. Such an interesting read.

    P.xx
    GreyWalls

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    1. aww thankyou,I hope your anxiety gets better xx

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  9. With celebrity culture most girls have confidence issues. I do, I wear makeup dye my hair wear certain clothes etc etc but recently I've made an effort just to not give a f*ck. Just be yourself, that's all you can do (and yourself seems lovely from reading your blog, you're beautiful and relatable). x Jazzy (hivenn.co.uk)

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    1. yep one day I will just turn around and say I don't give a f*ck haha! aww thankyou that's really sweet :) xx

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  10. I hear you! We spend so much time trying to hide our anxiety or just cope with it that people around us don't really know how we're really feeling inside. Anxiety is a hard thing to overcome but like you say step by step :) xx

    I'm having a giveaway on my blog and would love for you to enter :)

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  11. Wow, you may be onto something there! I'm also a very shy person and have issues with self-esteem and confidence in general, but perhaps if I "pretend" to be confident it'll actually start working too! Thank you for sharing this, hopefully it'll work for me too :)

    www.myfairpixel.com/beautyblog

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    1. awww no problem. I always like to write what's on my mind on here xx

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  12. I have to be confident for my job, but oh wow do I fake it most the time. But it defiantly helps, and I can relate to this post entirely! Fake it till you make eh!

    Belle x
    Mascara & Maltesers

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    1. I have to be confident too, but now I'm naturally confident :) x

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  13. Mad isn't it? If only we could transform into someone else even just for a day so we knew these things!

    Sometimes it's frustrating I think because we simply don't know how we do come across, how to act etc. I have read that if you try to act confident people simply assume you are. I tried in a recent interview and I'm sure I blurted the wrong things out and felt really shaky (inside and out) but I somehow got the job so perhaps we simply think too much (I know I do anyway haha!)

    Don't worry hon, you will get there <3 <3

    Sophie | soinspo xox

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    1. sometimes I think if you HAVE to be a certain way in a situation, your mind will work out a way you can be... if that makes sense?
      You must have done well in the interview, one thing I have been realizing over and over is that you can't read other peoples mind x

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  14. Heya lovely, I've tagged you in my liebster award here: http://trendsareoverrated.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/liebster-award-2.html because I love your blog! let me know if you do it so I can check out your answers x

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  15. Hope you're not too upset/offended by what your friends said to you! :-( I'm shy, but it's improved a lot since i've got older. In primary school I was super shy, now I'm in high school and it's improved. I think that we all develop as humans and I'm SURE you'll end up being naturally confident as time goes on.

    Good luck!

    Sharlotte // Sharlotte

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    1. I am defo, I think I'm mostly confident when chatting to people nowadays... just certain situations I'm not x

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  18. Can understand in one way why'd you'd be upset, but on another level it goes to show!

    I think you're definitely right (as it says in a lot of books/magazines) act confident and you'll feel more confident. I've used that many times and it's helped.

    Fake it until you make it! This is definitely what I've had to do :)

    Hmm maybe...

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    1. Ye, I think that's going to be my new "motto" haha xx

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  19. I have also had people say this to me.

    I think there is some truth in acting confident can gradually make you more confident, but I also think it's entirely possible to be confident in some situations and not in others, as you say. When I go bowling (I'm a competitive player), I'm always really confident on the lanes. But I get really nervous and anxious about talking on the phone and I get anxious about going to the doctor.

    Step by step as you say, this was an interesting post! xx

    Helen
    helsbels.org.uk

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    1. ahh, yea I hate answering the phone to a number I don't recognize, but then I think many people wouldn't like it xx

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  21. Im a shy person myself and when I started blogging it really helped me feel more confident

    www.niviisdiary.blogspot.com

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  22. This is a great post- it really got me thinking. I, too, usually always wonder how others see me especially in social situations. I definitely lack confidence in many social aspects but overall, I am pretty confident in myself and I do think that if you always fake it, eventually you just have it. That's why I want to keep working on my social skills and hopefully one day I'll be happy with myself in that aspect. :) I, too, was surprised to hear that Sam from Pixiwoo suffers from anxiety. Sometimes I don't think I quite understand anxiety because I always thought people with anxiety were super shy and awkward but Sam is definitely not...so....I guess it's just an internal fear that overcomes people but most are good at hiding it more than they realize.

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    1. yep that's true, people mix anxiety and being shy!

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