Dealing With "Social Anxiety"...

So where do I begin?
“Social anxiety is a discomfort or a fear when a person is in social interactions that involve a concern about being judged or evaluated by others.

Now firstly I want to say I am not diagnosed with Social Anxiety, I have decided I have some form of anxiety issue when it comes to dealing and meeting other people.


The reasons I think I have anxiety is because when it comes to social situations mostly on my own I panic!
For example: things like going to the gym on my own.  I attempted to join a gym last year, but the anxious thoughts of people looking at me whilst on my own made me too nervous (even just walking into the gym). All I could worry about was what people were thinking of me, so I backed out as soon as I could. It wasn’t because I have an issue with my weight, but because I was fearful of the people I didn’t know around me.
Another example is doing simple things like shopping on my own. If I eventually make it to the shops by myself -I have the feeling like I want to be eaten up, all I have is evil thoughts pursing through me, feeling like everyone’s eyes are on me.
So where did it start?
Well all I can think about is growing up in school, like in certain situations I was made to think something was wrong with me. Kids can be cruel, and most people receive some form of bullying, but I had it pretty bad from the ages 10-14. Kids in my Primary school would do things like put my new coat in the toilet because they didn’t like it. I used to wonder why they did it to me, I was always nice, I had no real issues with my image.
One of the girls that used to bully me had a mother who worked in the school. Because of this she used to take the girls side all the time (as you do), and constantly I would blame myself for someone else being horrible to me.
In secondary school I had some form of acne and this made my self-esteem VERY low.  Again I was judged for what I looked like.(. I remember one time my friend said I was pretty, I had made a effort. That day and I nearly cried. Because all I thought was “They’re being horrible because i’m ugly”, so for someone to say I looked pretty was a shock!)
I made a few good friends in school, but still they used to go out (socialize outside of school) a lot without me. This made me sad because I thought maybe they didn’t want to hang out with me, and again blamed myself! But looking back at it now, I think it was because I never really made the effort to say I would like to come.

Also in situations where A friend had asked me to come out  (when I don’t know the other people)I would be shy as I don’t know the other people, so the friend was just ignore me and forget I don’t know the other people. I would spend the whole time feeling uncomfortable, feeling like these new people don’t like me.

So where am I now?
As from the beginning you will see that I still suffer in certain social situations. Although this is true, I also have become more confident in other areas! Starting new jobs and meeting new people  has made me see that meeting new people isn’t always scary, and in fact you can make loads of new friends!
My self-image is another issue still. I have an obsession with wearing foundation to cover my “actually not bad” skin. Slowly I am wearing less and less makeup and just feeling comfortable!
I have fears to still overcome- like being happy for who I am, and basically not caring what other people think!!

I hope as the years pass I will do this, as I have become so much stronger.

If you have made it to the end thank you so much for reading, and if you have any advice, or if I can help please drop a comment!

Even though I can’t tell myself this I can tell everyone else this,..  that no matter what, there’s always someone stronger, prettier, richer then you! I am avoiding things I want to do because of worrying about other people. 

But hey who cares. BE YOURSELF!

LOVE LAURA <3







10 comments

  1. I'm so glad everything is getting a bit easier and you're finding it easier to meet new people and embrace new experiences! Social anxiety effects so many people and I'm really glad to wrote about it, especially is such an informative way, just because you aren't formally diagnosed doesn't make a difference! You're so brave to write a post as honest :)

    Ellen // A little bit Unique // Facebook // Bloglovin



    xx


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    1. Thankyou for you comment, it really means a lot!

      I don't feel like it's stops me from everyday life, but it's the little things I avoid that frustrate me. I hope this time next year I can write a post on how I have battled and gotten over it xx

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  2. Such an honest post, good luck with everything :) now following your blog.

    www.sisterswhoshop1023.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Aw thankyou <3
      I will defo check out your blog x

      Laura x

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  3. such an honest, touching post. I sometimes feel quite similar, but not to your extent. I always try to push myself and I hope things continue to get easier for you!


    ordaining serendipity

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    1. thankyou so much. I am becoming more comfortable in my skin all the time :D.. I'm going to do a future blog post on it xx

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  4. I'm glad someone has written about this because I have suffered with anxiety for a very long time.

    I don't currently suffer with social anxiety in the same degree as you, but in the past I have suffered with panic attacks walking into town by myself.

    My anxiety has usually stemmed from fear of failure. I've not yet passed my driving test as my eyes are full of tears and my legs physically shake so much that I cannot control a clutch properly. Yet I was always described as a great driver on lessons.

    Currently, I suffer from panic attacks if I'm in what I class a 'high pressure' situation. For example, last year at university I would have to walk out our shared kitchen often while I was cooking if there were a lot of people around messing around. It's horrible. People think one is weird because of such incidences.

    Thank you for sharing your story. It has helped me because I know I am not alone.

    x

    silverscreenbeautyqueen.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thankyou so much for your comment! It's weird because I can be so confident in certain social situations?! And I'm getting better the more I try to go outside of my comfort zone! (Cheesy as it sounds) x

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  5. I can relate to this 1000%. Thank you so much for writing it up. It's nice to know that when you're dealing with something & feel oh so very alone in it that you're not & someone out there gets it. I just came across your blog & I genuinely love it here. Feels a bit like home. I'm following you now & can't wait to see lots more!

    x leah symonne x

    itsleli.blogspot.com

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    1. wow, this means a lot to me! I will defo check out your blog xxx

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